“I’m sorry son, I should have done better…”
Like anyone who’s seen it, I was absolutely floored by Adolescence. I was deeply moved by so many aspects of it—especially the parents’ heartfelt inquiry into what they could have done better to prevent what unfolded before they even imagined it could happen.
This series has struck such a deep chord for many of us at this moment because we all recognize that immense change is needed. We know we have gotten ourselves into such a mess—with technology and, perhaps more glaringly, with schooling—and if we’re honest with ourselves, we’re not entirely sure how to get ourselves out of it.
The four-part series raises a multitude of thought-provoking questions. It challenges us to consider issues like:
– Incel culture and toxic masculinity
– The evolving dynamics of school culture
– Schools described as “holding pens” for our children
– And the overwhelming parental responsibility to guide our kids safely and successfully through this bewildering, ever-changing landscape
But amidst all these questions, the most pressing remains: What can we do better? And how?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself since my teenage years, inspired by my own perceptions as a child. My journey led me through decades of exploration—starting as a GCSE Maths & English Tutor, moving on to providing all-around mentorship to young adults, and working as Parent Coach supporting families along the way.
Even though the challenges might seem utterly overwhelming and unfathomable at times, I’ve come to realize that the solutions are not so complicated after all. In our modern, global society—connected and unified by the very technological means that once isolated and diminished Jamie’s sense of dignity in the series—we have real work to do. We must evolve the way we relate to, raise, and educate this generation of children.
The solutions for us as parents, as I see them and use in my daily parent coaching work, are timeless, simple, and even, dare I say it, obvious. They’re not easy to implement, but they boil down to basic, fundamental truths.
Here are my tips for raising happy, healthy, and successful children:
- Spend regular time with them: No excuses—it’s a top priority.
- Have fun together: Play with them in any way you can, regardless of their age.
- Foster sincere, open, and close relationships: Find a way to truly connect.
- Role model vulnerability: Share your inner world, your emotional landscape, and your vulnerabilities.
- Focus on gratitude: Shift your attention from negativity towards gratitude.
- Deprioritize external achievements: Let your relationship flourish over performance.
- Enjoy every moment: Cherish your time with them and the family life you share—soon enough, they’ll be gone.
- Raise them in community: Work hard to create a supportive village around them, or build one if it doesn’t exist.
- Trust mentors and role models: Delegate some of the responsibility to positive influences.
- Prioritize your own well-being: Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Find ways to maintain your happiness each day.
I’m always here for you if you need anything, have any questions, or wish to share feedback. Let’s continue to learn and grow together in love, solidarity, and commitment.
In love, solidarity, and commitment,
Henry
If you’re not already a member of our awesome Young Fire Academy Parent Community Group on Facebook, come join us! Get support from me and other like-minded parents who are on this journey too.
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